What Dissociation Taught Me About Healing from Trauma
Struggling with dissociation or trauma recovery? Learn how dissociation is a natural response to stress, why it’s not your fault, and how grounding techniques can help you heal.
I learnt something recently that completely changed my outlook on my trauma recovery journey.
I’ve been struggling with a tendency to dissociate over the past 6 months, and it’s caused me a lot of stress. But while listening to a podcast about trauma, I heard something that clicked: trauma is just memories that aren’t stored properly.
That simple idea shifted everything for me
.
What Is Dissociation?
Dissociation is a mental process where a person disconnects from their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity. It often occurs as a coping mechanism in response to trauma, anxiety, or extreme stress. In essence, the brain tries to protect us by “switching off” during overwhelming moments.
Understanding this made me stop blaming myself. I always thought something was wrong with me. But in reality, dissociation is the brain doing its best to help us survive.
For me, dissociation often shows up during conversations about health. I live with health anxiety, so if someone brings up symptoms or medical topics, I tend to zone out almost instantly. I’ve also noticed this happens when I feel socially anxious — I mentally check out without even realising it.
Why Dissociation Isn’t Your Fault
It’s easy to internalise dissociation as a personal flaw, but it’s not. It’s actually a sign of a highly adaptive
e nervous system. When your brain perceives a threat, even if it's emotional or social, it may choose to detach to protect you from distress.
For a long time, I beat myself up about this. The more I tried to figure out what was “wrong” with me, the more anxious and disconnected I felt.
But now I understand: dissociation isn’t the enemy — it’s a signal.
How I Cope with Dissociation
Here are a few techniques that have helped me reconnect when I feel myself slipping away:
1. Grounding Through the Senses
When I feel detached, I turn to my physical senses to bring me back into the moment. I might:
Hold a textured object like a stone or fabric
Focus on the smell of coffee or fresh air
Listen closely to surrounding sounds
These small actions remind me that I’m safe — here and now.
2. Talking to Someone I Trust
Having someone I feel safe with is incredibly grounding. When I can say, “I’m feeling a bit off right now,” without judgment, it helps me process instead of panic.
Especially with social anxiety, I often fear I’m coming across as “weird” or “different.” But being open with someone I trust takes the pressure off and reduces the spiral of self-consciousness.
3. Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism
Instead of asking “What’s wrong with me?” I now try to ask, “What do I need right now?” That shift alone has made a huge difference.
Final Thoughts: Healing from Trauma Takes Time
If you dissociate, you're not broken — your brain is doing its best to keep you safe. While it's not always comfortable, understanding this part of your trauma response can actually be empowering.
Recovery isn’t linear, and coping strategies don’t always work perfectly. But the more you learn about how your mind works, the more you can work with it — not against it.
You're not alone, and you're not doing this wrong.