Mental Health Space For Men
When Mental Health Resources Forget Men: A Personal Take on Anxiety and Masculinity
When Mental Health Resources Forget Men: A Personal Take on Anxiety and Masculinity
By Theo’s Therapy
Men’s mental health is finally getting more attention online, with countless voices urging men to speak up about their struggles. But here’s a truth that often gets lost in the noise: the real issue isn’t that men don’t talk. It’s that when they do, they’re often met with silence, disbelief, or misdirection.
I recently picked up a few books on coping with anxiety—hoping to find tools that speak to my experience as a man. Some of them had genuinely helpful advice. But I couldn’t help noticing that many felt like they weren’t written for me at all.
Feeling Invisible in Resources Meant to Help
One book I picked up had an entire chapter on the menstrual cycle’s impact on anxiety. Now, I understand this is valid and necessary information—but nowhere on the cover did it say the book was specifically for women. As a result, I was left feeling alienated, as if my version of anxiety somehow didn’t matter.
This experience isn’t rare. Many mental health resources—books, blogs, even therapy content—often unintentionally centre around a feminine experience. That’s not to say women don’t face unique challenges (they do), but when male-specific perspectives are absent, it reinforces the idea that men aren’t really supposed to feel this way.
Speaking Up Isn’t the Problem—Being Heard Is
We often hear the phrase: “Men need to talk more.” But from my perspective, that’s not the full story.
The problem isn’t always men staying silent—it’s what happens after we speak. I’ve opened up to friends, family, even professionals about my anxiety. Sometimes, I’m met with support. But more often, I’ve seen reactions that explain why so many men decide to keep it in.
Let me break it down:
You’re not believed. People think you're exaggerating or just going through a rough patch.
You’re called dramatic. Your vulnerability is interpreted as weakness or overreaction.
It’s treated as a “woman’s issue.” There’s a quiet assumption that men can’t feel this deeply.
You're seen as lazy. Anxiety gets mistaken for a lack of willpower or avoidance.
In those moments, you don’t feel seen. You feel dismissed. And the worst part? It convinces you that opening up was a mistake.
Masculinity and Mental Health: The Unspoken Divide
There’s a cultural script that says masculinity is about control, resilience, and emotional restraint. But the cost of sticking to that script is huge. Men who experience anxiety often feel like they’re betraying their gender role—like being anxious somehow makes them less of a man.
And because the broader conversation about mental health still largely sidelines male experiences, a lot of men feel like they have nowhere to turn. We don’t just need men to speak—we need resources that speak to men.
It’s Not You—It’s the Disconnect
One important caveat: not everyone understands anxiety the same way. Some people—whether due to different life experiences, brain chemistry, or emotional wiring—just don’t relate to anxiety on a deep level. That doesn’t make them bad people, but it does mean they might lack the sensitivity or language to respond well when someone opens up.
The danger is internalising their reaction and thinking you’re the broken one. You’re not.
Conclusion: Building a Mental Health Space That Includes Men
We don’t need more noise about why men should open up. We need to build systems—books, platforms, communities—that validate men when they do.
This starts with recognizing that masculinity and wellbeing aren’t at odds. They can—and should—coexist. Emotional awareness, vulnerability, and seeking support are not threats to masculinity. They’re a more grounded, more human version of it.
If you’re a man living with anxiety, you're not alone. And you’re not weak for feeling the way you do. The system needs to catch up—not you.